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I laid in bed struggling to want to do anything. Today I just felt like a failure, and I was confused by the feeling. Just the day before I felt confident and strong, yet in one swift moment I felt the world crash down on me as if I had been hit by a train. One minute confident, the next insecure and second guessing everything I’m doing.

Does this sound familiar to anyone else?

I have come to know with great confidence two things.

First, God is real. He is close by me even when I don’t recognize it. His ways are greater than mine, and when I trust him my whole world is more peaceful. He is the reason I have all that is good in my life. I believe that with all my heart.

Second, Satan is just as real. For all the good and hope God brings, Satan strives to bring the opposite. Despair, failure, sadness, anger. He doesn’t really care which emotion will bring me down as long as it does. He only has the power that I give him.

What do I do when I believe his lie, the one that says I’m not enough?  How do I rise above and come back to trusting my God who loves and brings peace?

Yesterday my 17-year-old son read this talk to me. I highly recommend reading it when you have the time. Here is an excerpt I thought was especially helpful.

A BYU student once came to me and asked if we could talk. I said, “Of course. How can I help you?”

She said, “I just don’t get grace.”

I responded, “What is it that you don’t understand?”
She said, “I know I need to do my best and then Jesus does the rest, but I can’t even do my best.”
She then went on to tell me all the things she should be doing because she’s a Mormon that she wasn’t doing.

She continued, “I know that I have to do my part and then Jesus makes up the difference and fills the gap that stands between my part and perfection. But who fills the gap that stands between where I am now and my part?”

She then went on to tell me all the things that she shouldn’t be doing because she’s a Mormon, but she was doing them anyway.

Finally I said, “Jesus doesn’t make up the difference. Jesus makes all the difference. Grace is not about filling gaps. It is about filling us.”

Seeing that she was still confused, I took a piece of paper and drew two dots—one at the top representing God and one at the bottom representing us. I then said, “Go ahead. Draw the line. How much is our part? How much is Christ’s part?”
She went right to the center of the page and began to draw a line. Then, considering what we had been speaking about, she went to the bottom of the page and drew a line just above the bottom dot.

I said, “Wrong.”

She said, “I knew it was higher. I should have just drawn it, because I knew it.”

I said, “No. The truth is, there is no line. Jesus filled the whole space. He paid our debt in full. He didn’t pay it all except for a few coins. He paid it all. It is finished.”

She said, “Right! Like I don’t have to do anything?”

“Oh no,” I said, “you have plenty to do, but it is not to fill that gap. We will all be resurrected. We will all go back to God’s presence. What is left to be determined by our obedience is what kind of body we plan on being resurrected with and how comfortable we plan to be in God’s presence and how long we plan to stay there.”

Christ asks us to show faith in Him, repent, make and keep covenants, receive the Holy Ghost, and endure to the end. By complying, we are not paying the demands of justice—not even the smallest part. Instead, we are showing appreciation for what Jesus Christ did by using it to live a life like His. Justice requires immediate perfection or a punishment when we fall short. Because Jesus took that punishment, He can offer us the chance for ultimate perfection (see Matthew 5:48, 3 Nephi 12:48) and help us reach that goal. He can forgive what justice never could, and He can turn to us now with His own set of requirements (see 2 Nephi 2:7; 3 Nephi 9:20).

“So what’s the difference?” the girl asked. “Whether our efforts are required by justice or by Jesus, they are still required.”

“True,” I said, “but they are required for a different purpose. Fulfilling Christ’s requirements is like paying a mortgage instead of rent or like making deposits in a savings account instead of paying off debt. You still have to hand it over every month, but it is for a totally different reason.”
Christ’s Grace Is Sufficient to Transform Us” Brad Wilcox

Satan’s lie is that when we do our best, our very best, (otherwise interpreted to mean when we are perfect) that is when the atonement steps in. But the truth is my Savior atoned for all of my short-comings and failings. All of them. Not just some of them or when I finally feel like I have laid it all on the line. Brad explained that so wonderfully. We keep trying, we fall short, again. And then we get up and keep trying. That’s all He asks of us. So when the lie that you’re not enough comes crawling back in, remember who paid the ultimate sacrifice and strive to hear His voice, the one that tells you you truly are more than enough, better than you think you are.

Susan

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There was a time I rocked my babies to sleep in a rocking chair that my own mother rocked me in. The day’s seemed long back then and the nights even longer. Crying was the only form of communication from those sweet babies, and there were nights I cried right along with them.

Motherhood would be one of the hardest things I had ever done. But the love I would feel would be deeper than any I would ever know.

Well intentioned older mothers would tell me how fast the time would fly by so I should enjoy those babies. I didn’t understand. How could those long nights ever be missed and yearned for again?  I wished time would go by faster.

At some point along the journey my heart changed. I distinctly recall an evening when I was looking at my children, my oldest was 12 and my youngest was 2, and my heart swelled up and I wanted time to freeze. No one should  grow up anymore. How I wished I had relished in the moments a little more. Loved a little deeper.

They are all still in my house, for now at least. And I try a lot harder now to enjoy the moments. Their fleeting time with me has become so very clear. More evident than I care for it to be.

So when I came across this quote the other day tears welled up in my eyes. For I understood all too clearly what the author was portraying. I am not raising babies. I never was. They are adults much mightier than I just temporarily in childhood form.

Susan

Anna Quindlen on Motherhood
All my babies are gone now. I say this not in sorrow but in disbelief. I take great satisfaction in what I have today: three almost adults, two taller than I am, one closing in fast. Three people who read the same books I do and have learned not to be afraid of disagreeing with me in their opinion of them, who sometimes tell vulgar jokes that make me laugh until I choke and cry, who need razor blades and shower gel and privacy, who want to keep their doors closed more than I like. Who, miraculously, go to the bathroom, zip up their jackets and move food from plate to mouth all by themselves.

Like the trick soap I bought for the bathroom with a rubber ducky at its center, the baby is buried deep within each, barely discernible except through the unreliable haze of the past.

Everything in all the books I once pored over is finished for me now. Penelope Leach., T. Berry Brazelton., Dr. Spock. The ones on sibling rivalry and sleeping through the night and early-childhood education, all grown obsolete. Along with “Goodnight Moon” and “Where the Wild Things Are,” they are battered, spotted, well used. But I suspect that if you flipped the pages dust would rise like memories. What those books taught me, finally, and what the women on the playground taught me, and the well-meaning relations –what they taught me was that they couldn’t really teach me very much at all.

Raising children is presented at first as a true-false test, then becomes multiple choice, until finally, far along, you realize that it is an endless essay. No one knows anything. One child responds well to positive reinforcement, another can be managed only with a stern voice and a timeout. One boy is toilet trained at 3, his brother at 2. When my first child was born, parents were told to put baby to bed on his belly so that he would not choke on his own spit-up. By the time my last arrived, babies were put down on their backs because of research on sudden infant death syndrome. To a new parent this ever-shifting certainty is terrifying, and then soothing. Eventually you must learn to trust yourself. Eventually the research will follow.

I remember 15 years ago poring over one of Dr. Brazelton’s wonderful books on child development, in which he describes three different sorts of infants: average, quiet, and active. I was looking for a sub-quiet codicil for an 18-month-old who did not walk. Was there something wrong with his fat little legs? Was there something wrong with his tiny little mind? Was he developmentally delayed, physically challenged? Was I insane? Last year he went to China. Next year he goes to college. He can talk just fine. He can walk, too.

Every part of raising children is humbling, too. Believe me, mistakes were made. They have all been enshrined in the Remember-When-Mom-Did Hall of Fame. The outbursts, the temper tantrums, the bad language – mine, not theirs. The times the baby fell off the bed. The times I arrived late for preschool pickup. The nightmare sleepover. The horrible summer camp. The day when the youngest came barreling out of the classroom with a 98 on her geography test, and I responded, What did you get wrong? (She insisted I include that.) The time I ordered food at the McDonald’s drive-through speaker and then drove away without picking it up from the window. (They all insisted I include that.) I did not allow them to watch the Simpsons for the first two seasons. What was I thinking?

But the biggest mistake I made is the one that most of us make while doing this. I did not live in the moment enough. This is particularly clear now that the moment is gone, captured only in photographs. There is one picture of the three of them sitting in the grass on a quilt in the shadow of the swing set on a summer day, ages 6, 4 and 1. And I wish I could remember what we ate, and what we talked about, and how they sounded, and how they looked when they slept that night. I wish I had not been in such a hurry to get on to the next thing: dinner, bath, book, bed. I wish I had treasured the doing a little more and the getting it done a little less.

Even today I’m not sure what worked and what didn’t, what was me and what was simply life. When they were very small, I suppose I thought someday they would become who they were because of what I’d done. Now I suspect they simply grew into their true selves because they demanded in a thousand ways that I back off and let them be. The books said to be relaxed and I was often tense, matter-of-fact and I was sometimes over the top. And look how it all turned out. I wound up with the three people I like best in the world, who have done more than anyone to excavate my essential humanity.

That’s what the books never told me. I was bound and determined to learn from the experts. It just took me a while to figure out who the experts were.

–Anna Quindlen is a Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist and bestselling author.

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Cherished of God

I don’t mean to beat a dead horse… except maybe I am the dead horse, and I need this to keep me motivated.  As I have written a few posts about making comparisons and how much damage that can cause, I continue to find more and more information and articles written by others who have noticed the same issue and want to talk about it, to try to combat this problem.

Last night I talked to my kids about this problem and the two sides that it creates.

When you’re comparing two different candy bars, you are usually picking one that is better than another.  If you compare two different sports teams, you think one is better than the other.

But when you compare yourself to another person, such that one is better than the other, you end up with either pride or envy.  Both of which God has labeled as a type of sin.

After our family discussion we watched this video.

I liked in the story when the brothers finally behaved like brothers again, wrestling with each other and joking around together.  Being the mother of 5 boys, I recognize that type of goofing off as “bonding.”  Knocking a brother around often shows more love than just leaving him alone.

But my most favorite part of this video is that fact that Elder Holland gave advice for overcoming the jealousy and envy that come from comparing.

He also shared an old Danish proverb.

If envy were a fever, all the world would be ill

Pride and envy that come from comparing are wide spread.  Almost all of us have a tendency toward comparing.

Maybe it starts out innocently, as a means to make sure we are dressed appropriately for an occasion, or performing some new task correctly.  But when it slips into a point of thinking poorly about ourselves, or someone else, then it has gone too far.

It is so widespread and so damaging to us as individuals and to our relationships with others that we often don’t even recognize it, and if we do, I don’t think we really know how to just “stop it.”

This is why I was so grateful for the advice that was given on this matter.  First of all I think it is important to recognize where these ill feelings are coming from.  Elder Holland states

Who is it that whispers so subtly in our ear that a gift given to another somehow diminishes the blessings we have received? Who makes us feel that if God is smiling on another, then He surely must somehow be frowning on us? You and I both know who does this—it is the father of all lies. It is Lucifer, our common enemy, whose cry down through the corridors of time is always and to everyone, “Give me thine honor.” 

Realizing that the misery that we cause ourselves in comparisons is started by someone who wants us to ultimately be miserable can help us recognize the lies that are embedded in what we tell ourselves.

The good news is that we don’t have to accept the lies that come into our thoughts.  We can choose to stand up and recognize what is happening when we feel ourselves going into a dark place of misery, pride and envy.  We can then choose to avoid the darkness by returning to the Father and by following the advice that Elder Holland shares at the end of this video.

  1. We can count our many blessings.
  2. We can applaud the accomplishments of others
  3. We can serve others, the finest exercise for the heart ever prescribed.

When all else fails, and we are feeling down in the dark places of life, these are three things that we can do to help recover.

I am so grateful that I found this story, as I relate to the older brother, and find myself often feeling lost.

We all need a little help sometimes, and I’m so grateful for good people who can help us to see the grace of God in our lives.  I hope I can remember these three steps, as I try to love others, and learn to live the life God wants me to live, without comparing myself to the life someone else has been blessed with.

 

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 I consider myself to be an obedient person when it comes to matters of a spiritual nature. I want to live the laws of God and I want to do what my Father above wants me to do. You could say I’m a rule follower.
The scriptures tell us to pray so I pray. But I think in my obedience I have been missing out. In my desire to only ask for what God wants for me I have been hesitant to ask for what I might truly desire. I had become a passive pray-er. I was afrad to pray for someone to be healed, what if it’s not Gods will. I was slow to ask for specific things because I didn’t want to be contrary to what is best.

Maybe I’m alone in this. But hopefully my struggle will help someone out there.

I prayed every night and morning asking for safety for my kids and guidance in parenting them. I prayed for insight into His will for me. At times when I felt very strongly that it was ok to pray for specific things like where to move or when to have our next child, I felt comfortable praying for that. I even felt comfortable asking for help when I was weak in a certain area.

I just didn’t feel like I could ask for what I really wanted that didn’t have lasting impact. Like owning our own home or help getting together the money to take the trip I have always wanted to Nauvoo or even how to help my daughter find clothes that help her feel amazing about herself. Could I plead for help with these things?

Then I come across statements such as these

Little children, young people, and adults alike, please believe how very much your loving Heavenly Father wants to bless you. But because He will not infringe upon our agency, we must ask for His help. This is generally done through prayer. Prayer is one of the most precious gifts of God to man.” J. Devn Cornish

He wants to bless me with all kinds of joy and guidance throughout this life. Even guidance on how to get to Nauvoo.

I am led to believe that our Heavenly Father loves us so much that the things that are important to us become important to Him, just because He loves us.” J. Devn Cornish

As a parent I greatly understand this. My kids will ask and ask for things that matter to them, over and over again when it’s really important or they just really want it.

For example my son really wants a play station 4 for his birthday. I don’t usually spend that kind of money on birthdays though. So he has started coming up with new ways to ask. “What if it’s Christmas and birthday.” “What if so and so goes in with me to get it.”

What man is there of you, whom if his son ask bread, will he give him a stone? Or if he ask a fish, will he give him a serpent?  If ye then, being evil, know how to give good gifts unto your children, how much more shall your Father which is in heaven give good things to them that ask him?” (Matthew 7:9–11).

My eyes are open even further as I begin to truly understand that scripture. I have read it many times before but I am starting to really grasp the meaning for me. It’s not only ok but good to ask for things I want. Not as I would a magic lamp hoping whatever I desire falls into my lap but with hope that the things I truly desire can be available to me.

With that said I still firmly believe that after I ask I should always follow it up with “thy will be done.”  Hoping for my prayer to be answered, while recognizing His ways are better than my ways. Always He has my best interest in mind.

The other prayer mistake I have made in the past is to pray sincerely and truly for something and then forget to act. I do nothing but say a prayer or two. No action to help that desire come to pass. Just wishing at that point.

Often as I pray, the Spirit nudges me to admit that there is more I should do to receive the help I am asking from the Lord. Then I must commit and do my part. It is contrary to the economy of heaven for the Lord to do for us that which we can do for ourselves.” J Devn Cornish

Ultimately what I am learning is how much my Father wants to bless me. Just as I want to bless my children. And with that He also wants us to learn how to put in the effort needed for the greatest potential of growth. I don’t hand my children everything they want when they want it. But I strive to give them what I believe will be best and hopefully what in time will bring the greatest joy. I see now how Heavnely Father wants to do the same for me. I need to simply ask.

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 Every great dream begins with a dreamer. Always remember, you have within you the strength, the patience, and the passion to reach for the stars to change the world. Harriet Tubman

 

When I was young I was sure I was going to be famous. At first I thought I was going to be discovered for my singing voice. But I was to shy to sing for others. Then I thought I would be an Olympic swimmer. But I learned I didn’t have the patience to workout for hours at a time. As I grew older that desire changed. It no longer was about how famous I would be but more about how I could leave the world a better place. For years I have felt the need to be something more. To step out of my comfortable place and step into what God has designed for me. 

Over the years I have begun to see in others their ability to take something they love or are passionate about and turn it into a tool for impacting others. Whether it’s making beautiful artwork or writing amazing stories, exercising or decorating their houses. What inspires me is when they take that passion and share it with the rest of us. 

My mom is a perfect example of this. She loves doing family history work. She will spend hours at a time researching and studying the lives of those that came before her. I have come to know my family well because of her passion. They have become my friends and their stories inspire me. 

Several years ago she decided to start a blog. She added story after story, person upon person. My dear mom wanted to preserve these stories and make them easy for others to find. Her love for this work was now shared with the world. She didn’t do it to be famous. She did it out of excitement and passion for the work.

The ability to change the world is right at your finger tips. God has built it into your very nature. It is your responsibility to tap into your unique God-given gifts and share who you are, what you love, with others. It is then that you will find the greatest measure of joy and happiness. How will you change the world? SUSAN

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Fear is kind of a funny thing. It is not tangible. You can not hold it in your hands. Neither can you look at it like as if it were a picture. And yet when I think about my fears I feel its presence as if it were standing before my very eyes. My palms can sweat. My stomach will turn and sometimes I even become frozen with an inability to move forward.

Does any of that sound familiar to you?  Have you ever let fear get the better of you?  I have to admit that there are times I have.

When I was in high school I really wanted to run for student body office. I wanted to be involved and have a say with how things were done. And yet I was so scared to give a speech in front of the whole freshman class, I backed out. And I still regret it. I let fear take over.

In a way I am actually grateful for that experience. In the wisdom that time can grant us I can see what I would have gained had I decided to take take the plunge and just do it. And now when I feel those same feelings of being afraid I remind myself to be courageous and move forward instead of running and hiding.

Our past experiences can often teach us what to do and even what not to do if we will let them. I never want to feel those feeling of regret that derive from not doing something I want to do simply because I am to scared.

In fact today I was told that I get to go on a 10 mile hike with the 14-15 year old girls from my church for a girls summer camp. Included in that will be repelling. Me and heights are not really friends. But I want to teach these girls to be courageous so that means I will try it. Even if I am scared. I will not back down.

I have a mantra I tell myself when that fear comes creeping in.

I can do hard things. I know because I have done them before and I can do them again.

In those scary moments I pull upon past experiences where I succefully did hard things. I have gone on a zip line a few times now. I can do that so I can repel.

Sometimes the Lord will ask us to do things that might seem out of our abilities and far far from our comfort zones. He might whisper to us to help someone we barely know. He could ask you to teach a class you feel ill prepared to teach. He might even plant an idea that seems much bigger then someone like you could ever accomplish.

But the trick is to do it anyway. I love this scripture

Be strong and of good courage, and do it: fear not, nor be dismayed: for the Lord God, even my God, will be with thee; he will not fail thee, nor forsake thee.
1 Chronicles 28:20

How powerful are those words. He will not forsake you AND He will not fail you. When I remember those words I know I can do anything He asks of me, even if I feel incapable or not good enough.Because    honestly, I of myself probably can’t do it. I need the help of my Lord daily.

And if He can make me, who can feel so scared at times, into something much greater I know He can do the same for you.

Go out today and do something that frightens you. Something you have been wanting to do but for whatever reason you have yet to move forward. Trust that the Lord will guide you and lead you along. Just Do It.

SUSAN

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When I was young I would walk to school early in the morning. I recall many times the path being filled with fog. It would be difficult to see very far in front me and for some reason I always loved this phenomenon. I would reach out and with all the strength my little hands could muster I was sure I could get a handful of that illusive fog. And yet every time I pulled away empty handed. 

I think finding joy can sometimes feel this way. Always within our reach yet we can’t seem to grab hold of it.  Why is that? Could it be that our definition of joy is part of the problem?  

Joy by definition is a state of happiness or contentment. 

Joy is not the absence of heartache or trials. True joy can be found in the most difficult of circumstances.  For me it is easiest found when I let go of how I think life should be and I embrace moments.  But finding it does require a good amount of work at times. It will not be handed to you by a fairy godmother, although that would be nice wouldn’t it?  

While visiting with some old friends this last week I was explaining what my blog was about and what Laura and I are working on. I told him “we are in the process of creating a product to help women find greater joy and purpose in everyday living.” 

His response, “Like a pill?”

We both laughed. Wouldn’t it be great if finding joy really was as simple as taking a vitamin? I believe the process and effort it takes in finding joy is needful for us to fully appreciate it once we do hold that joy in our hands. 

For example. Last week my husband left on a business trip. Me and the kids were going to meet him and that required a lot of preparation on my parent. The time had come for us to be on the road and everything seemed to be going wrong. I found myself getting angry and I started yelling at my children. It was not their fault and I was not acting how I knew I should. I had let the anger take over. 

I had to run to the store to get something we had bought, then lost, for the trip. I took the time to breath and calm down. I kept telling myself “you got this, you can do this” but I could still feel it lingering. I prayed and asked for help. And I waited, knowing the answer would come 

It wasn’t until I stepped in the door to my home that my heart was humbled.  Two of my boys came to tell me their story. Shortly after I left my sweet EmmaLee gathered the kids around and said “the day can’t get any worse. Why don’t we put on some good music and try to be happy”

They picked two songs by Hilary Weeks that I love dearly and play often. In retelling their story they both got tears in their eyes. They explained they could feel Gods love for them. And that peace had entered into our home. 

My heart was instantly turned to love and joy for these little people I have been entrusted with who often teach me much more than I teach them. 

Joy did not come the instant we sought it or simply because I felt we needed it.  We had to actively go look for it AND we had to open our eyes to see the joy that was already before us.

As we began our drive my spiritual eyes were opened to the goodness of God. He waited to answer my prayer for peace and joy and He allowed me to struggle on for a bit so that my children could feel an abundance of His love. And once it came it was so desirable and something I am still holding onto. 

I hope for you that joy can be found today as you actively go out and seek it. 

These people are some of my greatest joy!


SUSAN

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I read this article today and thought it was pretty great. It just goes to show how the Lord is aware of us in the small and big details of our lives. He answers our prayers whether it be with something like in this story or something as small as helping us find our keys. If you want to read more, click here

“One evening as night was falling, I was driving with my children when I noticed a boy walking along a lonely road. After passing him, I had a distinct impression I should go back and help him. But worried it could frighten him to have a stranger pull up beside him at night, I continued driving. The strong impression came again with the words in my mind: “Go help that boy!”
I drove back to him and asked, “Do you need some help? I had a feeling I should help you.”

He turned toward us and with tears streaming down his cheeks said, “Would you? I’ve been praying someone would help me.”

His prayer for help was answered with the inspiration that came to me. This experience of receiving such clear direction from the Spirit left an unforgettable imprint that is still in my heart.

On that night, Deric had stayed after school for an activity and had missed the last bus. As a young teenager, he felt confident he could make it home, so he started walking. 

An hour and a half had passed as he walked the lonely road. Still miles from home and with no houses in sight, he was scared. In despair, he walked behind a pile of gravel, got on his knees, and asked Heavenly Father for help. Just minutes after Deric returned to the road, I stopped to provide the help he prayed for.

And now these many years later, Deric reflects: “The Lord was mindful of me, a skinny, shortsighted boy. And despite everything else going on in the world, He was aware of my situation and loved me enough to send help. The Lord has answered my prayers many times since that abandoned roadside. His answers aren’t always as immediate and clear, but His awareness of me is just as evident today as it was that lonely night. Whenever the dark shadows of life blanket my world, I know He always has a plan to see me safely home again.”

As Deric expressed, not every prayer is answered so quickly. But truly our Father knows us and hears the pleadings of our hearts. He accomplishes His miracles one prayer at a time, one person at a time.

We can trust that He will help us, not necessarily in the way we want but in the way that will best help us to grow. Submitting our will to His may be difficult, but it is essential to becoming like Him and finding the peace He offers us.”
By Jean A Stevens

 

SUSAN

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Music

 

Yesterday, I went to a Stake Choir practice.

When I got there, the room was completely full, with extra chairs brought in.  There were so many people there ready to share their talents and contribute.  And they are all really good!!!  It sounded amazing just on the first sight reading of the music.  It was so enjoyable to be a part of the creation of beautiful music.  This amazing feeling is why I participated in Band and Orchestra in both High School and College.  It is amazing to be a part of something so much bigger than yourself.  It’s like jumping into the music, rather than just listening to it.

Then I looked around, or rather listened, to all of the beautiful voices and thought to myself.  “What am I doing here?”

When I played the bassoon in the orchestra in college, I was one of 2 or 3.  They needed me.

When I’ve been in other smaller choirs I was sometimes the only alto, or at least the only alto that could read music, and they needed me.

Now, surrounded by rows of other second alto’s, I realized that, this choir doesn’t need me at all.  If I don’t show up again, no one will even notice.  So…. why am I here?

Almost instantly I knew the answer as we practiced this song.   As I sang the words “All the vain things that charm me most”  I thought of the jewelry and shoes and clothes that I wanted to buy this week, that seemed so important at the time. But through this song, I remember that these things aren’t what lasts forever.  Buying new things does give me a thrill… temporarily, but the feeling I get from embracing all that is truly beautiful in life stays with me much longer.

So the answer to why I am at choir is, I am here because it is meaningful to me.  I feel joy throughout my soul when I fill it with music.

I sing because I am worshiping God through sharing my talents.  It doesn’t matter whether or not anyone else needs my talents, God gave them to me to share.  And regardless of how the the choir may or may not be changed by me being there, I know that I am fulfilling my duty to God by worshiping through song in gratitude that I have been given a voice to sing with.

It is the same reason we sing with the congregation when we attend church services.  We don’t sing to be heard of others, or to make the music sound better for others.  We sing because it is a glorious form of worship. Because we feel something when we sing or are a part of music.  Hymns sung in church are like a prayer spoken by everyone.  They fill us with the spirit and meaning through the words of the songs

Often through poignant beautiful music, will my heart becomes so full that it flows from my eyes in sweet joyful tears.  Beautiful music with a purposeful message can move me like few other things.  It speaks to my soul in a way that just plain words cannot reach.

Laura