The moment I realize I want to be better seems to be the exact moment opposition begins.

My mothering has not been as I have wanted it to be lately and so I have decided to make some changes. I want to be more present when they are here. I have the day to myself to get all the chores done, so I have decided to make sure when school gets out I’m available for them. Yesterday was the start to a new week and I was pumped.

I worked during today to update our chore system and behavior chart (I’ll share that tomorrow) and then when I went to print I was out of ink. Ugh. In my excitement to get it all done and finished I now “had” to take the kids to the store to get ink. Once we got home and got on homework, I ran to the computer to print real quick the charts, only to discover my printer is actually broken.

Naturally I feel I can fix it, it will only take a second. The kids are coming in and the more problems the printer is having the more frustrated I’m feeling and my fuse became very short. It’s almost dinner time and I had not spent the time I had wanted with them.

I never successfully fixed it but I did end up grumpy with kids who were now also grumpy because I wasn’t available when they needed me. I quickly realized that I had given in to distractions which I believe satan put in my path. And I fell for it.

At first I was really beating myself up, wondering why I gave in so quickly. Could I ever figure things out and be the mother I want to be?

And then I read these lines to the song “The Time Is Far Spent”

Be fixed in your purpose, for Satan will try you; The weight of your calling he perfectly knows. Your path may be thorny, but Jesus is nigh you; His arm is sufficient, tho demons oppose.

Yes Satan is aware of my purpose but Jesus’s arm is sufficient. He will guide me when I stay fixed on my mothering purpose. I may stumble from time to time but when I allow my Savior to, He will be what I cannot. He will make up the difference. I simply have to continue diligently trying.